June 26, 2010

Hugh Grant..and Other Fearful Men

Posted by hcorna under International Blogging, Keys to Entrepreneurial Success, Making Connections | Tags: , , , |
[2] Comments 

Naturally, I sometimes wonder if being a strong successful woman scares men away. I thought hard about this recently after a good looking British guy friend of mine whom I highly respect responded to my future plans in shock, “Guys must not know what to do with you”. I repelled with concern.

In today’s world, where information and options are more readily available for the taking, people are becoming more global and the societal definition of a man and woman relationship has changed drastically, yet still the image of woman as a mother will subsist.

With my mind full of thoughts, I pushed this one to the side temporarily as within the same week, I had the great pleasure to be invited to a dinner at the home of Sue Suh. I had mentioned Sue in a previous blog as a mentor and dear friend of mine who serves on the board of The Kind Exchange. As all eight ladies invited to the dinner party made entry to the quaint Asian apartment of Sues, the frequency of sound immediately vibrated off the walls interrupting the conversation you were having. I embraced it. Any “normal” man would have been fearful.

Around a dinner table of steamed scallops and salmon, strawberry and spinach salad, and cous cous, we shared stories with sorrow and laughter, laughter mostly dominating. Amongst us, a published author, a television presenter, a diplomat, a global defender of fair trials and legal rights, a jazz singer and musician and combined volunteers and entrepreneurs. Stories ranged from exploring schools in estranged villages of Vietnam, to frustrating love affairs between interns, to working the rice fields of the Philippines.

Even though the context of our experiences may appear difficult to imagine and relate to, our feelings are still the same. Mostly American, we were all women facing the same obstacles in life all women face: love, career, family and more.

Despite an ear infection I carried being at its peak, I couldn’t help but reflect on an evening of fabulous women. Of all of their wonderful inspiring stories and energy, the one thing I found myself pondering at the end of the night was, how did all these women find their way here? I think the answer is their prioritization of their passions as a means to pursue what they find makes them happy.

Whether it be fighting hunger and poverty in a third world country or sharing your faith and how it relates in today’s world of dating, what make these women successful are their ability to focus their energy from 9-5pm on what it is that interests them.

Believe it or not, I resort to a quote from Sex and the City (I). (Some who know me best may not believe that I am quoting Sex and the City, but those who know me even better know that I try to take something from everything, and this is what I took from that film). In the final scene, Sarah Jessica Parker, compares women to horses:

“Some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.”

With that, I feel more settled despite my guy friend’s comment saying that guys must not know what to do with me. It is not a matter of doing anything with us. The women I admire are happy in their lives, not because they we are “dealt with”, but rather they keep strong to being themselves and exert energy to find what resonates with their happiness. My thought from the dinner: We should not change who we are to be loved, but to find who we are in order to love and be loved in truth.

 

June 21, 2010

Soccer vs. Football? Tie vs. Draw? Beckham vs. Ronaldo?

Posted by hcorna under Cheers!, Events, For Fun, International Blogging, Out & About | Tags: , , , |
[2] Comments 

Painted roaring faces hide the color that usually distinguishes race from race. Vibrant flags drift backs of chairs and bodies claim the reign to that of which they each call pride. It is the 2010 World Cup and nothing compares to this.

Back home in the U.S., “Soccer” is mainly popular in the Northeastern and Midwest states from Indiana over to Connecticut and down to Virginia. Comparatively, this does not account for much of the fifty states. The more west you go in the United States, the less prevalence the soccer has in school sports culture.

Having lived abroad for three years, I feel a duty to now switch from using the word, “Soccer” to “Football” as it is the word recognized worldwide. Furthermore, I also fear for my demise as my English friends may exterminate me with their banter.

For USA’s first game versus England, I found myself on a beach vacation in Malaysia with fifteen or more British fans. Originally my British roommate, Jodie, and I were each supposed to bring our country’s flag to wear for the game. Given that we were best friends and roommates, we had hoped to show a kind-hearted form of competition. When Jodie forgot to get a flag in time before we left, I just looked like the typical prideful and boisterous American.

Ignoring the howls from the other Europeans on the beach, I flaunted the flag all night, indeed full of pride. When the game kicked off at 2:30am Singapore time, I was exhausted but adamant to cheer for my country as the only American on the tiny Malaysian island beach . About twenty of us sat in a tiny room and built our own bleachers-like seats so all could view the flat screen TV. There, we sat in the back of the beach bar watching the 2010 World Cup while overlooking the South China Sea. Together, Malaysian, British, French and Americans simultaneously kicked off playful discourse.

When England scored, the crowd was untamed. All I could do was sit and accept it with dignity. I tried to tease them by jokingly kissing the TV screen with David Beckham was shown, but that seemed to make matters worse (And I don’t even like Beckham! I prefer Ronaldo). After thirty minutes of unbearable ridicule, I decided to call it a night. Again, I’m generally a sensitive person and tend to take British literally although their humor usually is not meant to be.

Unfortunately, I woke up the next morning to find I missed the USA goal and that the end results were in our favor. It ended in a tie, or as I was later informed of the proper term, Draw or Null . But by this time, all the banter from the night before could not be found and the guys kept a distance from facing the situation. However, a couple of them surprised me, approaching me with laughs saying, “Impressive game; USA surprised us.” I’m not sure what’s going to happen next game versus Algeria because they seem to like us.

Where nationalities live as neighbors and language dialects separate cultures in Singapore, the game of Football squander these factors of life. Race, religion and nationality suddenly take a rest on the bench for a while and love and friendship are the starter lineup. Granted, citizens will verbally defend their team until the end, as the clock strikes 90 minutes we’re all friends again.

The World Cup undoubtedly does something no other sport in the world does. Some call it Soccer; Some football. Some tie; some draw. Some Beckham; Some Ronaldo. Despite the strong and sometimes scary protectionist actions, it is all good fun in the end as the game is representative of more than that. Football has the ability to bring people together with one common interest, and for a short period of time distract us from all the hatred and concerns in the world between or within countries.

 

May 31, 2010

Who else dreamed of living in Bali….and being a successful entreprenuer?

Posted by hcorna under Career Development, Columbus Women's Resources, For Fun, International Blogging, Keys to Entrepreneurial Success, Making Connections, Women | Tags: , , , , |
Leave a Comment 

I smiled kindly to the only lady in my row seeking as much comfort as possible as she leaned against the window seat. Blond haired, in phenomenal shape, she could not have reached much over forty years old. At the time, she didn’t seem very interested to speak. Since my first airplane ride at fourteen years old, I find such curiosity in people on flights and the reason for their journey, but have noticed over the past three years of averaging over 100k miles per year that this trait has sadly diminished.

Her name was Karen and I would come to learn that Karen was an American that visited Bali, Indonesia post-bachelors degree, fell in love and married an Indonesian gentleman, and has since lived there running her own catering company and several restaurants. (http://www.baligoodfood.com/) She travels home often, most importantly, to visit her two children who attend school in America.

My raspberry ricotta pancakes at Karen’s restaurant, Cinta Grill

Karen welcomed my curious inquiries and our conversation lasted from Chicago -> Tokyo -> Singapore, clocking in well over fifteen hours we presume. I left the conversation on such a high. As I was leaving my family and my sister’s recent wedding to return to pursue my career in Asia, it was such a reassuring feeling to communicate with a woman of such accomplishment and happiness.

Despite only being a two-hour plan ride away, Karen and I have only recently been able to catch up in person last week as I disappeared to Bali in personal goals of having some quiet time to work on my book I’m writing. After I sent her a brief email expecting just enough of her precious time for coffee or lunch if I was lucky, she responded with pure generosity insisting to fetch me from the airport and offered for me to stay at her home that evening.

Living in Asia, we adapt to a very lonely lifestyle. Without family members nearby, friends and acquaintances become peculiarly close at a quicker pace than normal. For Karen to make such a small gesture, as it appeared to her, conveyed to me a vast sense of home and comfort.

As the owner of a catering company and five restaurants in Bali with other business ventures on the verge, on top of being a mother¸ Karen is a busy woman of many talents. Yet still, she was able to spend a generous amount of time over my days on holiday sharing with me her home she built with her husband back in 1994, her recent discovery for how to cure vanilla, and her lovely restaurant staff whose service expertise impressed me for the low-level typical in Asia. She allowed me to ramble about the many exhilarating prospects and ideas that were currently streaming through my head and all the challenges that come with them, although carrying no effect on her.

It was such a relieving feeling to meet other ambitious people in the world, much less women, who don’t know if god defined enough time in the day to achieve all we want to do. Furthermore, I find myself reaching out to women specifically to help fill the role of my mother, whom I miss daily while living overseas. Overall, I was grateful for every moment with Karen for her kindness and inspiration, but most importantly for illustrating to me the importance of giving back. I hope to someday serve a similar role in someone’s life.

Karen with her Home Grown Vanilla

 

May 17, 2010

Maintaining Sports Hobbies Abroad: Introducing Futsal

Posted by hcorna under International Blogging | Tags: , , , |
Leave a Comment 

A few months back, I was introduced to the game of Futsal by Ms. Sue Suh, board member of the Kind Exchange (http://www.thekindexchange.com/home/Index.aspx ). This was the first time in two and a half years, I had heard of Futsal, and was definitely interested after having played soccer growing up. Futsal is a developed version of indoor soccer managed by ESPZen league(http://www.espzen.com/futsal/home.asp). Of course, in Asia, they use many different terms so please bear with me as I try to localize my blog this week. For example, soccer is referred to as “futbol” and field as “pitch”. Futsal is played on a pitch about half the size as normal, inside of a cage-like structure. However, it is not inside of a building and is completely outdoors, therefore very hot and humid in Singapore’s tropical weather!

I was full of anxiety and nervousness my first game as I have not played for years and only knew Sue on the all-girls team. Upon arrival though, I was greeted with smiles of women from all around the world. Our coach Karensa is Australian and serves in a high position in an advertising agency. Our lead player who dominates the pitch is Scottish and use to play professionally. Other team members mix local Singaporeans with Americans, Norwegian, and more. Ranging in age from twenty year old college students to accomplished working mothers, we bring a variety of energy to the pitch.

Teams consist of only five people and games last two twenty minutes halves. It sounds relatively short but in Singapore’s kind of heat, it gets your blood pumping and the sweat pouring. Goals are barely five feet wide and throw-ins are only underhand and rolled. I have made the mistake of throwing in overhand several times now, wailing the ball across the tiny pitch.

My first game was entertaining to say the least. As I practiced my “Forward” position from years back in middle school, I attempted to trick the other teammate at the start with fancy footwork and got scolded by the referee for breaking the Futsal rules, where apparently you can only kick the ball once. With a kind gesture, he allowed me start over as he knew it was my first game.

I have since learned all the rules and try to attend as many of the weekly games as possible. It has been such a pleasure to play among such talented women that are full of energy and fun. The transient lifestyle of Singapore makes it difficult to stick to the routine of Tuesday games, however, the splendid women I play with and the great feeling of recreation and competition keeps me returning for more!

 

May 10, 2010

Knowing your Personality Type in a Workplace Environment of Many

Posted by hcorna under Career Development, International Blogging, Keys to Entrepreneurial Success, Making Connections, Women's Resources, Workplace Issues | Tags: , , |
[3] Comments 

Last Friday, I had the privilege to attend an external training for work, which usually my company Toyota frowns upon as they feel the best way to learn is on the job itself. The course was entitled, “Master Your Mind for Breakthrough Results” and run by trainer: Ramesh Muthusamy Frankly speaking, I had signed up for it with the desire just to get out of the office for the day, but was shockingly surprised with what I left the class with. Many have probably heard of the Myers-Briggs testing which has been under study and developed for decades now by a mother and daughter before the realm of psychology even existed. In the course, we were given a background of psychology as a profession and basic terms, followed by taking the Myers-Briggs test, then spending the afternoon reflecting on practical examples of the results in everyday life from relationships to workplace interactions. I was shocked with the applicability of the results. In the test, I was given my classification and it could not have been any more on target. The purpose of the test is not to just identify your personality type, but rather to acknowledge that humans are born into these personality types and those that are successful in life, both personally and professionally, learn how to work with the others rather than just searching for those similar to them selves. There is a deep science to it that can be proven through many studies, but in the end comes down to the fact that we live in this world with others that we must learn to deal with, not ignore, and that everything out of our comfort zone is not to be pushed aside but rather embraced and strengthened. In each of our personal lives, we have our strengths and our weaknesses, which our trainer referred to as simply “In-Preference” and “Out-of-Preference”. Our “In-Preference” are our gifts, natural and potential talent. Our “Out-of Preferences” should not be steered away from or they just get worse. Rather, we should pay more attention to these “Blind Spots” in order to build on them. As our teacher kept repeating, “Anything we pick up along this journey is learnable, but awareness is the first step to change.” As the only Caucasian in a 250 person office, I am constantly being challenged to work with people of extremely different personality types. According to my classification, I am a “people person”, so naturally I enjoy this kind of setting, but at the same time it can be very exhausting when you are in a situation with consistently opposite magnets. However, in the end, it is proven that when situations are easy to deal with, progress is made slower than when put in situations that are not easy to deal with and people must compromise on one way. Therefore, businesses with such kind of diversification progress rapidly and benefit greatly from these kinds of groups of employees. At the end of the day, I was so grateful to have had the chance to attend the training and have since met with the trainer to discuss how to study further. I find interactions between people to be intriguing. The more we understand it, the bigger the step towards personal growth as well as having a deeper understanding of the world we live in and our individual role in it. I’m very eager to learn more.

 

April 23, 2010

The Kind Exchange: Matching Skilled Professionals to Community Groups

Posted by hcorna under Career Development, International Blogging, Making Connections, Organizing, Women's Resources | Tags: , , |
Leave a Comment 

Last week, I was catching up with a much admired friend of mine, Sue Suh, an American from New Jersey who has been living in Singapore now for 1-1/2 years. Sue is a phenomenal woman to say the least. She’s an accomplished professional, respected community leader and esteemed mentor whose energy and positivity is infectious.

Recently, I had the pleasure of catching up with Sue over tea wherein she continued to inspire me with her busy activities, one of which is The Kind Exchange (TKE) http://www.thekindexchange.com/home/Index.aspx . The Kind Exchange is a professional volunteering platform whereby members volunteer their services, for free, for “Kind Deeds” specified by community organizations. These good acts, if you like, are a task or specific project needed by a community group – such as helping re-design a website, create a marketing campaign, manage a tax filing, review financial accounts, provide legal counsel, run a festival … or give advice on how to write a good newsletter!

I was so surprised to hear of such an organization existing in Singapore as most friends and/or contacts are in business related fields, specifically Finance or Shipping industries. Furthermore, I was impressed with the background and originating purpose of The Kind Exchange. As stated on their website, the founders of TKE came together in the belief that there are many young professionals who wish to volunteer and there are many community groups which require their services. However, given the time constraints and commitments of professionals, an efficient ‘meeting place’ is required which will allow people to volunteer based on their individual skills, experience and availability. How many of us can say we have never felt this before?! Absolutely, I can admit to it.

Just last week, TKE held their first “Evening of Feeling-Goodness” where they received an astounding turnout of over 100 people wishing to be involved (After only being launched in March!). Sue now serves as a board member to the organization and is in charge of their monthly newsletter. I am so proud of Sue and the organization and I have a strong belief in the organization’s purpose and that it can be realize in any city in the world!

For Sue’s Biography, see: http://www.princeton55.org/dynamic.asp?id=PP55_new_officer_bios

 

April 11, 2010

Welcome to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Posted by hcorna under For Fun, Making Connections | Tags: , |
Leave a Comment 

Last weekend, two of my closest friends abroad and I went to visit my friend Anthony in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. About four months ago, Anthony, originally from Perth, Australia, was transferred by his company to the capital of Malaysia for work. He works in the oil & gas industry, specifically in technical solutions for oil riggers throughout Asia. We traveled by Tiger Airways, a popular Singaporean budget airline in Asia, reaching KL in 40 minutes from Singapore. The cab from the airport to his condo was longer than that.

It is common in Singapore to “sneak away” for the weekend to one of the other South Pacific countries as they are all so easily accessible. I had been to KL once before but in early 2008, at the beginning of my journey in Asia. Returning with friends was more exciting as I have learned the ropes of traveling in Asian countries and established networks throughout the region easily enough to have accommodation almost anywhere.

During our 48 hour visit, we caught up over a beautiful Thai/Burmese dinner and cocktails over looking the Petronas towers as their lights drastically shut off at midnight sharp. We told stories and had laughs til the wee hours of the morning.

On Saturday, we took a day trip two hours outside of the city to Gopeng, Malaysia to go river rafting in the Malaysian jungle.  We laughed more pushing each other out of the raft and dunking each other in the river water.

Again, I found myself in a situation where I was surrounded by beautiful people from throughout the world. Anthony, the Australian, still quite new to town was so happy to be a tour guide for his friends and was grateful to have us there. Julien from France, Jodie from the UK, and I were so grateful to Anthony for being so generous to us and so attentive to our safety. We saw a new side of Malaysia thanks to him, and were able to foster our friendship through further memories.

On top of my passion for traveling, what makes traveling the most exhilarating is the people you meet. These people are some of them.

 

March 19, 2010

Being Happy for Friends Opening New Doors

Posted by hcorna under For Fun, International Blogging, Making Connections | Tags: , |
[2] Comments 

Singapore is a very transient place due to the many expatriates serving temporary assignments. One of the biggest challenges about living here is that you must constantly bid farewell to your friends, some of only a short time, others a longer time. This week, I say goodbye to a dear friend; A friend whom I have admired and adored for a longer period of time. His name is Vladimir, but we call him Vlad. Vlad is a Pilipino-American…from Oklahoma … with a Russian name. Yes, it’s true. His father liked the name after reading a book and decided to name his only son Vladimir.

Vlad and I have a lot in common. We moved to Singapore at almost the exact same time and lived in the same condominium on the same floor. But that’s not just it. We also both were raised in middle to lower class families and worked our way to achieve what we have today.

Vlad and I met at my first practice for the American Dragon Boat Team in Singapore. (http://www.americandragons.sg)

We were both in the back of the boat because this is where new members first sit. He had brought along some friends from his work and was busy chatting away with them, perfectly symbolic of Vlad’s personality, lightening up a situation that is normally very serious. Everyone was focused paddling, including myself, and here’s this guy in the back just carrying along cracking jokes and all. Haha..now I understand, this is how he always is.

Vlad can be serious, of course. He works in a very high position for a multi-national corporation in a high demanding industry. However, in actuality, his personality is very easy going. He can always make light of a situation with anyone. He is infamous for introducing his friends to others, linking alike people. Vlad will “high-five” runners while jogging down the river. He chit-chats with the local old folks we call “Auntie & Uncle” to brighten their day. He makes goofy faces at children on the street just to make them smile. He talks to anyone and everyone and is rarely judgmental. Vlad simply has a pure respect for people of all races and backgrounds.

Our friendship has grown tremendously over the past 2-1/2 years with memories traveling throughout Asia from Hong Kong to Laos to Malaysia and more. Each memory has its own special story. Through these memories, Vlad has consistently inspired me to be better person.

It is normal in Singapore to have friends come and go, but Vlad is not normal. He is a superior individual that if anyone has the opportunity to meet, will also be inspired by his bright personality. If I can be selfish, it deeply saddens me to see him leave as my life in Singapore will not be the same without him. However, this is not a time to be selfish. This is a time to be happy for a friend who is closing a door and opening a new one. For that, I could not be anymore joyous for him. Bon Voyage my dear friend.

To Pandan bread and peanut butter,

Your tomodachi, Hil

 

February 26, 2010

Keeping in touch: Give Someone (or yourself!) a Pat on the Back

Posted by hcorna under International Blogging, Making Connections | Tags: |
[2] Comments 

Do you ever feel that even though you do so much, you are not doing enough? Or know a friend that is feeling that way? Well I suggest taking a deep breathe, and pat yourself on the back. You are doing the best you can.

One of the most difficult things about living abroad is keeping in touch with people in the U.S., much less when they are in times of need. I try my best though to make time for a few of my most dear friends. One of those friends is Michelle.

When I first moved to Singapore, she quickly became my best friend. An American, same age as me, having graduated from Duke University and living in Singapore for one year to help setup the Duke medical school alliance with the local university. Throughout our eight month friendship in Singapore, Michelle has shone so much light into my heart. She is a pure beauty inside and out.

About to graduate from Graduate School with a Masters in Public Health, she has been facing a lot of decision making and challenges in the upcoming year. During our most recent catch up, I was so sad to hear my friend was feeling so down, and I felt she really needed a pat on the back.

Here’s this young woman, with a degree from an Ivy League School, lived and worked abroad, soon with a Masters from a renowned public health program, has an outstanding supportive family, and is as beautiful as can be. Michelle has done exceedingly more than other people our age. I tried to reminder her of all the things she has accomplished and change her perspective to a more positive one of thanks.

With all the pressures of life, it can be overwhelming and easy to forget your accomplishments, even small (like making it to church!). I am habitually guilty of this. However, I feel this is a very important part of getting through each day. You need to reflect on what you’ve accomplished, again even small, to help motivate you for what you do next. Otherwise, you just DO DO DO without enjoying what you’re doing. Everything becomes a task.

If you are feeling this way or know someone else feeling this way, bring them a lollipop, send someone a quick hand written note, and remind them of what they’ve done (or yourself!). Everyone needs a little recognition to keep them going. Go on, pat someone on the back!

Is there a story you want to share of patting someone on the back? Or Vice Versa

 

February 19, 2010

A Great Woman in Your World?

Posted by hcorna under International Blogging, Women | Tags: , |
Leave a Comment 

Is there a great woman in your world that you secretly admire but don’t acknowledge enough (other than Takeysha:) )?

I’d like to introduce a great woman in my world, Ms. Varsha. She has been appointed as the leader of Kaizen (continuous improvement) at the dealership I work with in Bangalore, India. Technically speaking, I am her teacher but since March 2009 I’ve realized she is my teacher just as much as I am hers.

Before March 2009, Ms. Varsha had been working with the dealership Nandi Toyota for seven years in the area of vehicle delivery and registration. This is incredibly loyal of not only an automotive dealership but for an India employee as well, as turnover for both is very high. As Ms. Janine Moon very accurately commented in her post last week, those companies wanting to survive will tap into their people. Nandi Toyota has finally tapped into Ms. Varsha.

After working for almost one year beside staff from America, Thailand, China, Singaporean, and Japanese, on all levels from low staff (me) to “big bosses” (General Managers), Ms. Varsha has grown from being timid and acquiescent to confident, proactive and simply happy/beautiful. Her face now glows when she works when before would be quite dark. Every time I return to visit during a business trip she is the first person I visit. Her energy is infectious. It astonishes me to imagine her before and the capability that was being capped during her previous work.

In my role, I am supposed to serve as a teacher to the dealership staff although my managers and teachers still call me a student …but Ms.Varsha has been more of a teacher to me that maybe I have been to her. She has reminded me of the virtue of patience and honesty, especially in the business world. There is a word in Japanese “Omoriyari”, which means “selfless without discrimination”. Sometimes in conducting Kaizen we use this word as an ideal to work towards. Ms.Varsha constantly keeps me aware of this thru her hard work, kindness and consideration of others.

As Kaizen leader, she is now strengthening the value-added operations for Nandi Toyota, but in actuality, I don’t think her value can be measured. She is a brilliant individual which so much potential it makes me smile. I would like to share you with her as my teacher and my friend. All over the world, women can meet other women that make them smile. Let’s meet more and smile more often!

 

Next Page »