The Women's Book

Find out in 60 seconds if your goals are making you happy. 

By Christina Lombardo Ray, PCC, CPCC 

While traveling this past week, I read Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D.  Martin Seligman describes his book as “The backbone of the most popular course at Harvard.”  I applied my top take-a-ways from Tal’s book to goal setting in the form of questions.  You can quickly use these questions to size up your own goals and find out if you are on a path of happily-ever-after.

1. Are you enjoying the ride along the way as you pursue your goals?  Meaning, are your goals enhancing your enjoyment of the present, in addition to bringing future benefit?
2. As you are working toward your goals, do you frequently reflect upon or write down the things for which you are grateful and the good progress you are making?
3. Do you have positive emotions connected to your goals? 
4. Are your goals and your pursuit of them meaningful and pleasurable for you?  (Or is your heart and mind telling you that you must change your life or do different things with your time?)
5. Are your goals self-concordant, meaning are they goals that you are pursuing out of a deep passion and interest? 
6. Did you choose these goals and are they “want to” goals?  (Or were they imposed upon you and are “have to” goals?)
7. Do your goals stem from a desire to express who you are (intrinsic)?  (Or do you goals stem from a desire to impress others?)
8. Does your pursuit of your goals allow you to feel flow:  to perform at your best by using your strengths and enjoy what you are doing, while providing an appropriate level of challenge that is not too difficult or too easy?
9. Are your goals connected to a world problem or an area that you would like to play a role in seeing improved during your lifetime–your Life Vision?
10. Do your goals feel like a calling?  (Or are they more of a job or a chore?)
11. Are your goals and your pursuit of them bringing you the ultimate currency (happiness and emotional gratification)?  (Or are they bringing you prestige and materialism?)
12. In selecting them and in your pursuit of your goals, do you believe you have the right to be happy and that being happy is a worthy pursuit?
13. Do your goals allow you to take your time to enjoy the richness that life has to offer?

Scoring

The above questions are intricately connected.  As you may have guessed, to determine if your goals are making you happy, your answer to the above questions should be a resounding “YES!” with the exception of the follow up questions found in the parenthesis.  I challenge you to reflect upon your answers and reassess your goals. 

What goal(s) can you set that would allow you to answer YES to the above questions?

“Time is limited, so I better wake up every morning fresh and know that I have just one chance to live this particular day right, and to string my days together into a life of action, and purpose.”

Lance Armstrong

By Christina Lombardo Ray, PCC, CPCC 

Over the past few months you have read about creating your Vision and Life Purpose, so let’s talk about some serious goal setting.  Bottom line:  individuals who set goals are more successful than people who do not, but are they happy?  What does goal setting mean to you?  Goal setting is about making a commitment to yourself and positively impacting your present state as well as your future.  Through goal setting, you can create a new reality for yourself beginning immediately.  Sound enticing?  Simply put, goals are commitments that focus your attention on a desired future target, but that also allow you to enhance your enjoyment of the present. 

Set Serious Goals

Aligning your goals with your Vision and Life Purpose is key.  So if you are serious about wanting to happily pursue and achieve a goal, be sure your goals are connected to the area in your life (or to life in general) that you would like to play a role in seeing transformed or improved (a.k.a. your Vision).  Also, your goals should have a direct link to your Life Purpose.  In other words, what is the specific role you want to play in helping realize your vision?  This link is critical in helping you enjoy the pathway forward and to your goal success. 

Vision > Life Purpose > Goals

Think back to a time when you succeeded at achieving a major goal you had set.  What helped you be successful?  Did you enjoy the journey as you worked toward that goal?  What was it like for you when you “crossed that finish line” thus achieving your goal?   

The Journey & the Destination

Research shows the connection between goal setting and success, but what about the link between happiness and achievement of our goals?  Decades of research shows that the attainment of goals will not make us happier unless we understand and pursue the proper relationship between the destination and the journey.  The emphasis here must not only be on goal attainment, but also on setting and pursuing goals.  We must position ourselves to set goals that allow us to enjoy the ride along the way.  Otherwise, when we arrive at goal attainment, our happiness can be short lived.

Enjoying the Journey is Crucial

Psychologist David Watson, author of an article “Positive Affectivity” elaborates on the importance of enjoying the journey along the way:  “Researchers emphasize that it is the process of striving after goals, rather than goal attainment, that is crucial for happiness…”  A perspective shift here is imperative.  We can no longer think of goals as just being what we are going to achieve.  We must shift our focus and think of goals as also impacting our present state.  The journey in pursuing the goals must be pleasurable and meaningful to us.  Linking your goals to your Vision and Life Purpose is one strategy.  Think back, what goals have you set in your lifetime where the journey was evocative and fulfilling?  It may likely be that without even realizing it, those goals were connected to your Life Vision and Purpose.

Personally Meaningful & Significant

Do you tend to pursue goals involving wealth, public recognition, material possessions, or popularity?  If so, research shows that you would find your goal pursuit and achievement far more fulfilling if you shifted your focus and began to pursue goals that are personally meaningful to you and that involve your own personal growth, learning, and development.  Focus your goals on targets that you find personally significant and enjoyable and that are aligned with the difference you want to see and be in the world.