How many of you have heard phrases like “you are known by the company you keep”, or “birds of a feather flock together”? Those old clichés ring true in many cases. Whether we like it or not we are judged by the people we choose to hang with. This is very important when you think about your personal image and brand.
During the holidays I had the pleasure of attending an event at a friend’s home. It was a wonderful, impromptu “chicken & waffles” party (for those of you who don’t know about chicken & waffles see me later!). Never-the-less, it was a great opportunity for our “friend group” to get together at the holidays and connect before we all went our separate ways to celebrate with family and/or travel for the holidays. We had so much fun! As I later reflected on the people in attendance I thought about the reality of what my “friend group” says about where I am in my life and career.
The affair was hosted by one of the couples in my peer group that I greatly admire. Both of them are successful in their own right and have managed to figure out how to balance marriage, career, and friends. Also among my peers were leaders of large nonprofits, elected (and soon to be elected) officials, a couple of doctors, several lawyers and corporate executives, as well as persons who serve us in state and local government. I could go on and on, but you get the point. All of these young professionals are focused and dedicated individuals who understand the importance of serving their communities, giving back with their time, talents and treasures, and continuously striving to be their personal best….and they were all friends of mine! I felt truly blessed to be in the company of such greatness. And yet none of us take ourselves too seriously. We have “old school” iPod music contests, lip sync to our favorite tunes and, at times, have been known to enter into a fierce and competitive game of TABOO!
Why am I explaining all of this? It’s simple….as it relates to my image these are the people who I am known to be associated with. As networking guru George Fraser always says “your network determines your net worth”. So the company that you keep really does matter when it comes to your personal image and brand. Through this friend group I have met many influential people, had the opportunity to serve my community in ways that I never dreamed I would, and even ended up sitting in the office of the CEO of a Fortune 500 company talking about my vision for an organization that I am charged with leading. None of this would have been possible without me being deliberate in developing my network and being selective about who I associate with.
Now that’s not to say that we do not have several different friend groups that we move easily in and out of. In fact, I have a couple of distinct groups of friends and all of them add to my life in positive ways. The group from my teen years keeps me connected….the groups from my former jobs keeps me grounded (those girls are a mess and I love them so! LOL), and the group that I mentioned above keeps me motivated and pushes me to continuously develop myself both personally and professionally. The real value of having these friend groups is understanding how they add to your life, as well as ensuring that each of them (in their own way) support you in fulfilling your purpose and destiny.
I encourage you to consider who you are “connected” or “associated” with. Do they add value to your life? Are they good for your image? Are you good for theirs? All relationships should be mutually beneficial exchanges where each person walks away better for the encounter. I also encourage you to rid your circle of toxic relationships/friendships. If negativity prevails in certain groups, then that is a sign that it is time for you to excuse yourself. And if the group that you associate yourself with does not challenge you to grow, then you might want to consider how much time you want to devote to the interactions with that group. A wise person once told me “if you are the smartest person in your circle, then it is probably time for you to find a new circle”.
With that I want to say THANK YOU to my friend groups – all of them! (and you know who you are) I pray that I add as much to your lives as you do to mine. For those of you who may have determined that you need to expand and/or change your circle, I submit to you that developing a knack for true networking is the best way to begin. For me, networking is defined as “seeking to develop mutually beneficial relationships” and “giving before getting”. True networking is NOT the exchange of business cards! If you are truly a networking novice, there are books, workshops, and personal coaches who can assist you with the basics of developing this skill. Once you understand the basics, it is then up to you to add your personal brand and style to the process to make authentic connections.
Live purposefully!
Toni
Toni Cunningham, Owner & President
Image Anu, LLC
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